So!! Office Romance? Interesting! Ya! Wait, let me correct myself!
One sided office romance! It seems like a really cold scene, Boss! Let’s go and have tea! I’ll explain you the entire scene!
– Let’s go! Bro, you remember our engineering days?
You remember how we used to try so hard to get the passes of the festivals of Delhi University’s girls colleges? Ya Bro! The guy who used to get the festival passes for any of JMC, LSR or Gargi colleges festivals was considered to be a stud boy!
– Exactly! Why were we so excited?
– Because we used to feel that it will help us make our boring lives interesting. But nothing used to happen after going to the fests also! We used to eat Chowmein, drink frooti and come back home. Now we have a job also, still we are eating chowmein! It’s just that we are drinking beer every friday instead of frooti. Don’t spread depression!
Look at me! I am dating a Delhi University girl!
Look at me. I don’t get any motivation after looking at you! In fact, I feel depressed! We both look very similar! In fact on some days some people will say that I look better than you! I think the karmaic theory is true! I would have surely been a play boy in my previous birth! That’s why I have not been able to get any girl in this birth! What you call as Karma, I say it’s cause and effect! The universe works on cause and effect! Create the correct cause and the correct effect will follow my friend! That’s it! Can you shut-up? Apart from engineering the other discipline that I don’t like is philosophy! So please! Let’s finish our tea! And then let’s go and work! What story are you trying to tell me? Are you inspired by Imtiaz Ali? Be a little patient! See the point is that I have been in three relationships before this!
You were a noob in 2011. I am not in that bad a situation!
– Bro, the story is such that everyone will benefit from this, it’s very grand! This is not you, it’s your self obsession speaking! Bro, listen to me once!
– Listen, my scene with Deeba is a little different! What has your story got to do with all of this? Ok bro, let’s continue the story! Atleast get some biscuits along with tea! In any case you are not able to arrange for some weed for me! Don’t break my flow! Okay, go on! Ya, so the same story was still going on! It seemed as if the sad story of my engineering days was still not ending! So technically even after completing eight semesters I couldn’t understand that why were the ninth and tenth semesters still in progress! What happened bro? Please work bro! Otherwise you won’t get a good rating and then your bonus will get affected because of the rating. What will I do with the bonus? You should have someone to share your happiness with! Think if, Bill Gates wouldn’t have had Melinda by his side, then what would he have done with his money? You sound desperate bro!
– Bro, theory of evolution is behind it! If we wouldn’t pass our genes then the theory will get refuted, right? Passing our genes is something that is far fetched, the lady doesn’t even know that I exist! Damn! Bro, what do you want?
– Advice! Bro, but you were not ready to listen to the cause and effect theory! From my engineering friends, I had heard a lot of such theories but what should I have done? You can’t fight the theory of evolution, right? Tell me, bro! Eye contact, bro!
– Eye contact! What? When you look at a woman, look at her straight in the eye! Straight and direct! Now how are you feeling? I am not getting a nice feeling after looking at you! Can you stop looking at her secretly? When you are giving her a eye contact, then look straight, don’t look away when she looks at you! That means whenever I’ll look at Aparna then I should look at her straight in the eye?
– How did you get to know her name? Aparna Lamba! Think our surnames are also same! Can “Lamba weds Lamba” happen? So these are the causes that you are creating! In the effect, you will only be able to stalk the girl on facebook! What are you saying bro? When the cause will be uninterrupted eye contact, then the effect will be a date with Aparna! Bro, you were such a rascal! Didn’t she slap you?
– You again broke my flow! You know, the story that you are telling me according to that Aparna Di should get a Nobel prize, that she married a guy like you! Grapes in a monkey’s mouth personified! You are not able to taste the grapes even when you have them in your mouth! Let’s continue the story! I am hungry, let’s order another plate of momos! Actually, I saw you across the bay, is there something wrong with your eye? Eye! Eye!
– Yes, eye! An eye for an eye makes the whole world go BLIND! True that! Hi, I am– Manav!
Manav Lamba! Oh! Interesting! What a coincidence! I am Aparna Lamba! I know! What? I mean, I thought I knew! What a coincidence, yeah!
-Yeah! “Lamba weds Lamba”
– What? It’s the wedding season know, so I have this band’s tune running in my head always! I see! Okay, I’ll see you around! Bye! I understood later, that be it a girl or a guy, both of them are biological organisms! But after being in a boys school and an engineering college I started feeling that girls are from some other planet! Bro, at least you were able to talk to her!
See my theory worked! Worked!
What are you talking about, bro? She gave me such a look as if I am a fly who is sitting on her subway! Bro, at least she knows that you exist now! What are you talking about?
What kind of a man are you? Bro, You want to repair the damage? Everything has been destroyed! Nothing can happen now! Go, go right now and get comfortable with her! Create the right cause and the right effect will follow! “Lamba weds Lamba” All the best, bro! Go! Play well! Hi! Hi! We both have been assigned the same cab today! Did you check? No! Ya, it’s the same cab, which is apparently late! Let’s sit in the cafe? Till the cab comes?
– Ya, sure! We have nothing else to do as such! So, what team are you from? Testing and bug fixing! I see! And you! Inside sales! That’s why you are on the phone for the whole day? What? I mean that’s why your whole team is on the phone for the whole day? Right? You are a bit weird! Ya we have a lot of work on the phone but there are a lot of personal calls also! Personal calls? Ya, personal calls! Why? What happened? Personal calls are a big no no! Our integrity is dependent on it! Every moment that we spend in the organisation, we are paid for it! Then why do we get up from the seat and go and drink coffee? Ya, because energy cannot be created or destroyed, right? First law of thermodynamics! See when you drink coffee then you are increasing the energy of the body, you are increasing the energy of the whole system, right? Then when you go and work then you expend the same energy in your work, so that’s good for the organisation! But in personal calls we are decreasing our body’s energy as a system, right? And the person whose on the other side of the phone, he depletes your energy and the company suffers loss of revenue indirectly! Tell me one thing! Why didn’t you ask her directly whether she has a boyfriend or not? Which world were you living in? This was my presence of mind, bro! See, this is your self obsession speaking again! It’s not your presence of mind! Suspend your judgement! Keep listening! Okay, continue! So what happened was— True! That’s a strong argument! Are you an engineer?
– Yes! Yes! Smart! I really like intellectual things! Oh! The cab driver is calling! I think the cab is here! Let’s go!
– Yup! Let’s go! Thank you Bhaiya! Good night Manav! Had fun talking to you!
– Thank you! Okay, good night! Uhh— Aparna, just a minute! Ya! Uhhh— Can I get your number, please? Sure! It’s 765020007!
– 007? Ya! I am a “BOND GIRL”! My heart’s “BOND GIRL”! Bro, get up! Stop dreaming! As per your cause and effect, everything is going fine, bro! Ya, but why didn’t you ask her about her boyfriend directly? That means if a girl gives a slight signal, you engineers just jump on the opportunity!
Yuck! You have such bad thinking! Okay bro! You enjoy the friend zone if this is the effect that you want! Then what should I do? Just go and propose her! What? Yup! Ask her out tonight! Everything will be clear! I have just talked to her twice, why are you asking me to do this? There is a limit to being needy! Bro, you just want to keep the cake in front of you and admire it or you want to eat it too? “Lamba weds Lamba” versus forever in friend zone! I hope you don’t end up having dinner at her wedding! You just talk about pseudo intellectual things or you have some other talent also? Quit playing games with my heart! Quit playing games! Quit playing games!
Quit playing games! I should have known from the start! Quit playing games! Quit playing games! Quit playing games! Quit playing games with my heart! Is that “Quit playing games with my heart” in hindi? Yes! Insane! Let’s get going then? Aparna! Yes? Ahhh— Ahhh— Yes? Can we— Can we go out on a date together? As in a formal date? Ohh— What happened? If you have a boyfriend then it’s okay! No, I don’t have a boyfriend! But– It’s okay! No problem! I am– I am used to it! It’s fine! Manav! Listen! I was talking to you just as friends!
– Oh! Okay! No I mean I have a lot of guy friends! I was not expecting this! Manav! Are you okay? Ya! Ya! I am fine! We are friends, right? Okay, I’ll go then! Okay! Aparna? Ya! Uhhh— I—I can’t be friends with you! What? I didn’t talk to you for this purpose! I wanted a girlfriend! I have a lot of friends! So I guess– I guess we can carry on! Let’s go! Okay! Amazing! You exited like Ranbir Kapoor from the Jogi Maahi song! Thanks man! Tell me one thing What’s the lesson for me from this story? Oh, millennial! You are just not patient. Uncle! You are also a millennial! Wait Listen to the story to follow! All was over! Like my old one sided affairs I had cremated this one as well I had learnt how to move on without getting into a relationship Hi!
– Hi! Do you have some time, or are you leaving? I’ll make some time Let’s sit somewhere? Okay! Nice weather, no? A bit hot, a bit cold Our scene is cold only Manav? Yes? Actually, I’ve never been into a relationship Talked a lot, with a lot of different guys Made a lot of friends as well I liked a few as well But it always seemed that all of them had some ulterior motive What do you mean? It seemed they were being dishonest But they never conceded anything It seemed that they were always playing games They were all so pretentious But I liked your response to the situation You were honest. That’s so rare in today’s world! What are you saying? What? You liked it all? Yes, absolutely! That was so sexy! So? So? So? Let’s go for a date! Formal? Yes, formal. Is this ’cause and effect’ or some gift from the last birth? Leave it, leave it. We are just testing it, okay? We take a test drive when we can actually buy the car, right? You have a weird sense of humor! Leave it, I have this habit of saying nonsense. The moment is so special! You have actually made all Engineers proud! You have done a great job! I’ve not done anything great! Such memorable moments appear in everyone’s lives. They make life worth living! Listen to me now. Own it up! What? Just go and accept your vulnerabilities in front of Deeba. And, open a new chapter in your life. A new relationship? You like her, right?
– A lot Then throw away the baggage Be honest with her, and start a new chapter! See, I don’t know but, today, I guess, I’m married to Aparna only because of honesty. I think, honesty is the bedrock of any solid relationship. It’s the base. I didn’t get you. Accepting your weaknesses, and communicating them is a form of honesty itself According to me, there’s no bigger strength I guess, you are right So, the thing is that, I’m really anxious All of my previously failed relationships keep bothering me It seems I will not be able to manage it all It seems something is wrong with my internal machinery So? But still still honestly, I really like you, Deeba I like you too So, can we go on a formal date? Formal? A proper one? When do you want to go? Really? Don’t you feel scared? If we break up by mistake? You know what? After listening to you, I’ve started liking you even more Haven’t you set really high standards for honesty? Mani Bhaiya, you are great! What? No, no, nothing The moment is special. I keep blabbering.