Guy goes to the Unemployment Office


Number 53. Beautiful home and got here.
Are you drunk, sir? Not yet. Are you number 53? I don’t like labels like being
called a number. *Sigh* This is gonna be a long one. Look I don’t mean anything personal by
it. It’s just the way we do things here. If I’m number 13, what number does that
make you? Thank you for your ticket. Please have a seat.
Mind if I sit next to you? Yes. It says your name is Guy? Ain’t it rude to ask someone’s
name before given yours? Okay, I’m George. I’m Guy and together we
are… Angry and stupid! What is this?! I ain’t angry. It says here you’re 32 years
old. Yeah but the real me died five years ago in this Slim Shady incident. You a
gambling man? Let’s flip this coin. Heads, I tell you about the incident. Tails, I
keep it a secret. Let’s just say it was tails and move on.
So if you died five years ago that means you’re deceased, but you can’t be deceased because you’re sitting right in front of me eating bread. Why are you
eating bread!? Ah, don’t worry about me. Proceed. I worry about you in many ways.
I’m might parched. You got any milk? Fresh out. Now put it
away! Can’t a man eat if he’s hungry? Not in this building! Fine… Are you currently
employed? If you can call going to every bakery in town and asking for
expired bread work then… So then unemployed. Could you tell me about any
previous employment? I worked at ABC Mart until they caught me taking all the
non-dairy creamer from the break room. I still don’t know why they fired me. A
true mystery. Do you have any certifications or licenses? I got a
license to kill. Maybe should use it on yourself–that wasn’t funny . It was a
joke! I mean I got the James Bond DVD. What kind of work would you like to do?
I’d like to sell propane and propane accessories ,or maybe be a bug
exterminator, or a substitute Spanish teacher. Are you a fan of King of the
Hill? How’d you know? What kind of working hours would you like? I don’t like being
tied down by schedules. If you can’t commit to a schedule I can guarantee there
no job openings for you. Oh then tie me up as tightly as you like.
Please don’t phrase it like that–ever. How much would you like to make a month?
100,000 yen. Surprisingly low but that’ll open up a lot of doors for you. So you
get all kind of job listings on that computer?
Yeah. Could you do me a search for a ghost catcher or a ghost hunter? What was
it? You mean a Ghostbuster and no because that was a movie. Yeah, sorry but I don’t
think we can help a man of your unique personality find a job. I got to get
enough money to go back to my family. What should I do?
You could try back next week. We might have more postings available but
honestly I don’t think you have a place in society. Then I guess times up. Yep.
Just one thing before I go. What’s your name? I’m George. And I’m Guy and together
we are… Employed and jobless. Wrong we’re jobless is scared. Is that dynamite?! Yeah.
Just calm down! I’m sorry! I can help you find a job! I’ll try harder! I’m sorry!
I needed a reset and the way I figure it. Those guys out in the lobby,
they need a reset too. So I bid you a good day sir. No! This is between you and me!
Don’t involve anyone else! Where are you going!? Come back! Oh uh-huh.
Oh god you actually came back! George, you wouldn’t happen to have a lighter now
would you? I’m calling the police.

3 thoughts on “Guy goes to the Unemployment Office

  1. There was a real dark underbelly to both of the characters here. The passive aggression with the desk dude and the desperation of the unemployed man was palpable and came through strong. I found the whole thing quite impressive, actually. 👍🏼 Japan's only singular manzai duo!

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