How to deal with difficult or toxic family members ft. Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev


Don’t attach particular importance to those
people who are genetically connected. You have no choice about who you are genetically
connected with. It’s happened. It’s an event that has happened. You cannot fix it now.
What kind of relationships you can maintain, maybe you have some choice, but not always.
That’s why you choose friends, that’s why you get married, that’s why we told you, you
should never marry within your blood relationship. That’s called incest, so that you have choice.
So that you can marry someone who is a little different from you, who feels a little different
from you. It is not because of blood relations that you feel different. It is because your
identification with the body is so strong. You make blood more important than your intelligence.
No, your intelligence should be your number one thing. When I say intelligence, don’t
think of intelligence as just the logical process of the mind. Right now what’s happening
in every cell in your body, what’s happening in a single molecule of DNA cannot be understood
by any intellect. That’s how complex it is. Tremendous things are happening. So there
is an intelligence right across which is functioning every moment of your life, otherwise you would
not be alive. Whatever you decide to think, this inner intelligence is still carrying
you on. Today, something happened, your love life fell apart or the stock market crashed
your mind will say “I want to die”, but the intelligence within you keeps you going. Tomorrow,
you might say “oh the life is great”, the intelligence within you keeps you going. If
the intelligence took instructions from your intellect, by now you would have been dead
1000 times. So do not understand intelligence as just intellect, there is a deeper intelligence
constantly functioning. To access that you will see that blood is just a superficial
thing. So one of the first things, if you distance yourself from the body, I want you
to understand only because you are stuck with this body some body also has become important.
If you are wearing your body too tight, then you do not know which is you and which is
your body. Even if you wear it even a little bit loose, suddenly you know this is my body,
this is not me. Don’t have to create too much distance, too much distance is called death.
Don’t do that. Please don’t do that. If you are free from this body, you will clearly
know what is important to you now, the whole existence is just one energy. Religions of
the world have been screaming for a long time, “God is everywhere”. Whether you say “God
is everywhere” or “everything is one energy” are you talking about the same reality or
different reality? Same reality. Everything is same energy. This is science. God is everywhere.
Same structure, expressed in a different way. Only problem is, science did not experience
it, he only mathematically deduced it. A religious person did not experience it, he just believes
it. But if you know it by experience, everything will fall into its right place, otherwise
you will distort reality. Just because you’re born in the same family, just because you
are born in the same house or home, you think something is happening…nothing. Two children
can grow up in the same family and grow diversely different. It is happening everyday. It is
just that we are trying to hold by blood simply because our own attachment to our own body
is too deep. If you understand the nature of what’s happening to this, very easily human
beings can raise beyond genetics and operate in a different way. The whole living system
is just about this. He had no parents, because he’s gone beyond his genetic process. Jesus
said “leave the dead to the dead”. What he is saying is, your father is dead. He’s saying
don’t allow your father to live through you. Dead should die. But right now your great-grandfather
and your ancestors also is living through you, whether you are aware of it or not. You’re
behaving like your great-great-grandfather, do you know this. You’re having the same genetics.
If you don’t go beyond this, your life becomes cyclical, it does not progress. If you want
your life to progress, the first thing that you need to do is you have to go beyond your
genetics. Otherwise, genetics will keep you in a cycle, in a loop, you will become an
endless cycle. Becoming cyclical is a helpless process, it’s a trap. Genetics gave you a
body, a certain quality. That’s fine. Beyond that genetics should not influence you, you
should go beyond that. Otherwise your life will become cyclical. So the first step in
the spiritual process is simple methods to transcend the limitations of genetics. If
you hold this body a little away from you, would your father influence you? No. You have
made the body too important. So your forefathers have become too important. If you hold your
own body aside, then all can go with it, you must leave the dead to the dead. Do not let
them live through you. This is your life. This is for you to live, not for your grandfather
to live through you.

100 thoughts on “How to deal with difficult or toxic family members ft. Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

  1. Having heard this "guru" before, I believe this man is like all others before him, A fraudster, spewing sweet sweet lies. I am not even overtly religious but it really feels a little off. So many others might see it differently but watch his vids and you will see him try to make something out of auto-racing or his life of luxury. It is all a lie.

  2. In respond to doggie hawser
    What the Guru is saying in simple word is you are not your body, your thoughts, your emotions, your intellect and your five organs of senses, meaning, all of these parts are  the products of your environment and the food you consume that makes you and then you identify with this as 'I'.  But this is not real you.  Genetic material is about the body and real you isn't  the body, you are the what you may call it life force (there is only one life force in all living, it is called Parabrahman or you may call it manifestation of the absolute).  If the reality of our existence is the body and then why is it that we call someone who is lifeless as dead; the body still is here but life is gone.  This is what the Guru is referring.  Be at ease and sincerely ask this question from the true existence in your heart and always gently contemplate on the same things in silence.  You will experience within this body something beyond your mental, logical, intellectual or genetic material.  Just be broad  minded. Go within to experience who you are.  For that you need discipline, silence, one-pointedness, and sincere inquiry. Your own experience will reveal to you what the Guru is saying.  It is beyond mind and beyond yours or any religious beliefs.  May you experience truth and peace.  

  3. Drop all philosophies, came across this line through various different sources . I agree and buy that

  4. Most people here seem to be very realised beings – That gives them the right to call  this guru a fraudster.  the fact is that he gets nothing whether you follow what he says or not – Just sit back and think about it and you should be a little more aware!!

  5. Reply to Ashok Kumar: Have you heard of Freedom of Speech ?
    It is public duty to discern if one is a genuine article or an imitation. There are numerous fraudsters in the name of religion, yoga, guru etc; etc; therefor be aware! Beware!!

  6. he is so right! leave toxic relatives alone for life they eat away at your happiness like cancer.

  7. People can grow up in the same house and become different BECAUSE they are treated differently by the members of the family. Favouritism, abuse and/or neglect have a lot to do with how relationships become toxic.

    In my time; it is almost always the parents NOT respecting each other as Father or Mother; which leads to further toxic situations.

    It is all about RESPECTING each other and the roles we play as a family unit.

  8. The echo is terrible so I chose to not listen past several minutes! I'm sure it would be good without it though!

  9. Great, all the narcissitic sociopath family members have sabotaged this video so I can't know how the heck to deal with them!!

  10. wat he said is ADVAITHA VEDANTA-BY ADI SHANKARACHARYA….BY the way nice explanation

  11. It's not very clear recordings.very difficult to understand what he's saying!

  12. Love Him much! The stuff we have been seeking since our youth.

  13. Yes, the sound is bad but thank you Evita. I appreciate the video. Namaskram.

  14. can someone please share the link with a better audio… I really need to listen the subtitles didn't match up n r very fast at times

  15. Why bother posting this if you can't Evan understanding what he's saying .to much feedback echo

  16. LORD SHIVA….REMOVE ALL TOXIC PEOPLE….OUT MY LIFE….SO I CAN….LIVE MY LIFE….ON MY OWN….WITHOUT THEM TOXIC PEOPLE….TRYING TO STRESS ME OUT….I WANT MY OWN PLACE TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HAPPYNESS….WHILE I LIVE OUT….ALL OF MY DREAMS IN LIFE….TO THE FULLEST IN A HEALTHY BODY….HEALTHY MIND….HEALTHY SPIRIT….I KNOW THAT ALL THINGS IN LIFE….ARE POSSIBLE FOR THE GOOD OF MY LIFE….THROUGH LORD SHIVA MANTRA OF….( OM NAMAH SHIVAYA )

  17. This is so true when you have a very supportive husband, you will have your own blood relations trying to ruin your happiness

  18. The descriprion says the audio is not the best so enable subtitles.. but the sublitles are bad too! Might as well turn them off and try to understand this echo-ey mess

  19. Place Sadhguru in Afghanistan or similar and now imagine massive ordinance air blasts [MOABS] dropping on him; his children and entire villages of elders: Now you get the picture: Are you part of such a campaign or a by product ? Military? Think about this: Peace

  20. subtitles aint working and the echo is so strong i cant hear what hes actually saying!!1 annoying!!

  21. The number one cause of toxicity in any nuclear family is one spouse being embarrassed of the other spouse and disrespecting them. I can tell you from experience that this can be an extremely traumatic experience for the child.

  22. The sound is awful I can't hear what sadhguru is saying…maybe put subtitles if you can… bless you

  23. Omg.. I can hear it now clearly 😮😱😂..am growing spertualy beyond the normal senses 😁😆😄

  24. The link to the transcript can be found here: http://www.evolvingbeings.com/post/how-to-free-yourself-from-toxic-family-cycles

  25. All members in my family are against me. They mentally abuse me and won't support me. I am a child and what I can do? Please answer, I have critical situation.

  26. I totally agree. Just because you are related by blood doesn’t mean you have to put up with them. I read that even Babaji loved his mother only from afar since she almost smothered him to death. as a child. So yeah, your parents can do you the most harm.

  27. On toxic people, I can only say: Know what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is! This can also be a combination with Sociopathy or Psycopathy… Check here on youtube…lots of info to be and get aware, so you can learn how to deal with it or how to recognise and protect yourself… Thanks to Sadhguru for his light comming in to our life… Namaste

  28. Another article similar to this video https://isha.sadhguru.org/in/en/wisdom/article/family-problems-conflict-turning-filth-into-fragrance

  29. scientists do bot disbelieve God. he is in process to believe.

  30. The voice is not clear… Nothing is audible clearly… At least you should have added subtitles….

  31. "Don't attach particular importance to people you are genetically connected with. You have no choice. It's happened, it's an event." Love this

  32. We should not give particular importance to people they we are genetically connected with? Ehm… I call them family members… I think that mother – child relationship is the strongest by people and all animals that are socially developed. I saw video with newborn child which mother died by the birth of this child. That child was crying incessant. Nobody could calm down the child until a man who become the heart of its mother transplanted took it in her arms and the child stopped crying immediately. I think the "genetical connection" is important…

  33. I’m currently stuck living with my toxic negative family that puts me down, lies about me, backbites me and brings me anxiety every single day but in Sha Allah it will get better

  34. Mine is toxic but Ud say keep some contact. Mine are ok but one gives me no space when I need it. This post is disturbing so if sensitive about health dont read this. I am anorexic and forced into parties and to listen to weight comments. I starve most days of the week as my metabolism slowed from the stress and because I was rushed into every meal.I have to be humiliated at a party and this has made me sick. I had a schedule and my mum made sure I couldn't follow it. I am angry with her. She talks about fires and people getting sick and the next time I will be telling her tp have more discretion or even to shut up she was talking like that in front of a child that had the same problems. I had to take the little guy out of the room. I was so sorry for him. Part of me wishes shed get sick and then she wouldn't talk like that I feel guilty as I want to be close to her but that is messed up. . The party is unfair as my brother died in that house and I am retraumatised every time I go up there. I got quite ill after the last party. Passed out from starving myself. It worse with stress I gain weight for no reason so I starve it off. I care about my family but I dont want to go there ever again I have a family that cross my boundaries and make my anorexia a joke. I am also very ill from undiagnosed condition and I just think this is unsustainable. The meds that treat the sickness are off the market more days I am not allowed to eat. Meanwhile she makes fun of it. I think awful things I know I shouldnt and she's not well but I feel so angry. I HOPE God intervenes and this is all resolved. She cares yes but she's depressing and all her advice is bad.

  35. Thanks Evita! I've produced a video about using toxic family for
    spiritual growth. Take Care
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2ocVPI7mwU&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR1Uk3iPc92knMm3-ZQyGm8OYMBXPND9lgrCyU_0IJaT82zLFqKYQl-Iuwo

  36. My mother gives her maternal family more importance like her brother and nephews and sister. She fights with me and my father and don't speak to us for a month. She behaves like a stranger to me. She never does something for me. She neglects and abuses me for her family.

  37. Can you do the sound again please, we can't understand anything. The eco behind makes hard to follow.

  38. Pranam Guruji..
    I deeply admire your values and teachings.
    Sir i have question.. should we fight for our rights with our family..?

  39. Unfortunately I’m under the age of 18 and can’t really do anything but wait

  40. I'm in a toxic relationship with my mother after my dad's death.I take care of her but she hates me like hell.Complains to outsiders about my negative points.

  41. https://www.nirogdarpan.in/sex-relationship/parents-interference-in-married-life/

  42. Sir if you haven,t been there in my life i would have committed suicide….thanks a lot sir for saving me and clearly showing me path…..

  43. Ahhhhhh!!! Is it just me? Or the CC isnt aligned with the video😞😭Maybe my connection

  44. Those who bother about not hearing a single word clearly. here is the total script

    http://www.evolvingbeings.com/post/how-to-free-yourself-from-toxic-family-cycles

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