Power Phrases for Responding to Rude Bosses | Insults at Work | Passive-Aggressive Co-Workers


when I’m responding to difficult people
does it make a difference if that difficult person is my boss What do I say? Dan O’COnnor training.com you might want to try this when you are
going to let somebody know that that that type of communication is inappropriate
it’s unproductive whatever it may be remember to be specific you know saying
to somebody something such as I don’t appreciate those types of comments who
cares that wasn’t for you appreciate because you know it was basically for
the crowd of people to appreciate and say I’m so funny I’m such a great boss
and aren’t you a big Lulu that’s what that’s for you know so saying to
somebody I don’t appreciate it when you talk to me like that is really kind of
saying blah blah blah blah blah blah (lot of laughs) it doesn’t further our
cause or our position what we want to do is highlight their behavior–remember not
them–their behavior and the consequence of their behavior–to them–okay, and we do it in that order remember that there’s power in sentence structure what you put
at the beginning of the sentence I mean the very first words and the very last
words at the end of a sentence those are the most powerful places that’s where
sentences that’s where you kick them off and you end with a bang so look at the
difference between these two things well I don’t really appreciate those types of
comments or you know I don’t think that’s appropriate for work you know
we’re right or passive-aggressive comments like that in the end simply
call into question your ability to lead well that’s totally different you know
questioning my ability to do the job that you assigned to me ultimately
brings into question your ability to manage right that now I’m not saying
that that is something I should do in front of other people I recommend you
know pulling those tricks out of your bag first in private so that the person
with whom you’re dealing knows you’ve got it you know you’ve got that type of
ammunition in case you ever need it if somebody’s going to be you know trying
to publicly you were humiliate you which happens
more and more these days do not hesitate to publicly respond sometimes we have to
speak their language you know what I mean
now I’m not one for stooping to somebody’s level you know I believe that
with the right tactics with the right communication I’ve seen it happen I know
what happens we can all create miracles you know remember that a miracle is a
change in perception you can change the whole world with the change in your own
perception because that will change other people’s perception as well ipso-facto you’re a miracle worker at work what I am doing in effect is not
engaging in a battle and I’m not rising above it because I don’t want to rise
above a battle the battles are yours they were given to you you know what if
you don’t deal with them you will find yourself in the same battle over and
over and over again trying to rise above it and feeling like you’re being dragged
into it don’t rise above it illuminate it when you illuminate it I’m going to
show you and everyone else and myself what’s really going on here I know
you’re a master teacher of mine thank you and I’m going to be in the moment
here and I’m going to express in this difficult moment the very best of Who I
am because you can’t cast out darkness with more darkness you can only do that
with light I will illuminate the situation and therefore change the
perspective of everyone involved as to what’s really going on here and doing
that that is the way that you changed not just your office or not just your
life but you change the entire world one conversation at a time so make sure to
connect with us and join us in changing the world one conversation at a time if
you have not yet click that subscribe button do that before you go to our
website download our free gift and then come back here for more of these great videos
for everyone here at Dan O’Connor Training, this is Dan O’Connor Signing off you

28 thoughts on “Power Phrases for Responding to Rude Bosses | Insults at Work | Passive-Aggressive Co-Workers

  1. I have been following you for more than 5 years and i really respect your effort and your work over all. I also follow your tips and techniques.
    Love from Pakistan 💕

  2. Most of your videos are for your professional life. If you can do something about reacting to your personal life it would mean a lot! Thanks

  3. I wish I had these weapons when I had a difficult supervisor. It's nice to know what to say now though.

  4. Thanks! My issue is being emtional and too upset to articulate well. I have always been one to be specific about what the issue is. It's just I get emotional mixed with being upset that I hate.

  5. Shine on Dan, thank you for spreading your light. We need ya.

  6. I'm hoping you can give me some tips for words to use to highlight a problem I'm having with a friend of mine. Every time we are together and I begin to say something, they interrupt me and not always to ask questions about what I'm talking about. It's a pet peeve of mine and the more it happens the less I want to be with them. I'm not sure what I should say about it as I don't want to hurt their feelings. I find that at the end of the day I'm relieved but frustrated whenever I leave to go home.

  7. Can’t understand some of what you say easily due to your poor annunciation

  8. If you do more examples, less giggling, and treat it as a serious issue, your work will be golden.

  9. I think there are 2 different insulting situations that deserve 2 very different responses. Had both of them happen to me in the past..learned a lot from them both.
    1) Sometimes stress increases at the office and usually its the co-worker that hasn't got her shit in order who will vent her frustration with herself onto a weaker looking co-worker with whom she thinks she can get away with it. Its like the bully in middle school. Its sad really. Thats a temporary situation and calling her out on it…setting your boundries and making it clear its unprofessional and not something you will tolerate is the way to go. I can't agree with you more. Wording is key. Be strong and assertive. From experience I know that co-worker will then vent to another co-worker. In my team we had that happen…to me actually…I stood my ground and we had a close team and my other co-workers backed me up out of the blue (didn't see that one coming…ohh you guys..thanks😘🤗).. making it clear to the stressy one this behaviour will not be tolerated in our team..mess with 1 and you mess with all of us…gotta say that was effective. She moved on from me to my co-worker 1 desk over….so then I was the one to back him up against her. She recognised the pattern after that one. A bully targets a soft target…if you are strong or are strong together they will back down. Effective and 1 week later she wasn't working there anymore cause our manager had a little chat with her as well about her job performance. Its an unprofessional situation and shows a great weakness in that bitchy co-worker but the situation is usually pretty harmless…unpleasent but harmless. Also co-workers that stopped smoking or are bitches when they haven't had their morning coffee yet…it can be fixed….its harmless.
    2) You are dealing with a narcissistic boss who gets off on dominating you while he attacks your selfasteem, manipulates, plays mindgames and lies….yeah thats a permanent situation…if you set your boundries…that sets a narcissist off big time…to him its you taking back control and it will make him go really really nasty…no empathy and breaking the law level of nasty. Him insulting you isn't the bug but the feature. Its tricky to spot them cause they act nice but aren't. His aim with his insults isn't stress relieve to deal with his issues….no he is purposely attacking you with the aim to break you to get you to submit to him…to think you are nothing, can't leave and must be loyal to him cause you ow everything to him….he wants you to tolerate abuse while you think there is no way out. Narcissists 1.0.1. And at the same time they can be friendly…its like the abusive boyfriend buying you something after he beat you and makes up an excuse how it was your fault. Mindgames! Only sollusion with that guy is to get the fuck out of there asap. Don't think "I can make it work, he won't get to me"…..no RUN! They will take you down 100% of the time…no matter how strong you are…they are toxic. He aims to wreck you and he will if you let him. Run just run. Just look at an example in current politics…he.will.drag.you.down.100%.of.the.time.if.you.let.him! This is not a normal thinking/feeling human. They aim to harm you to feel stronger themselves….don't let him harm you. And watch out before you confront him…confronting him will make you the enemy in their eyes and he will try to destroy you any way he can.

    No one deserves to be insulted (at work). Its unprofessional, its not in your job description, its an unsafe working environment, you don't deserve it and shouldn't tolerate it either. If you don't stand up for you, who will? There is nothing wrong with thinking of your own needs first.

  10. Dan! Daaaaan! Thank you for everything.
    I am really working hard to put all your tips to practice since I subscribed. And so far, it has done everything right in my situations and has helped me a lot.
    But please I have a question and I can't come up with an appropriate answer even after watching videos.
    At work I am more accomplished than most of the people around me. But every now and then when we have individual or team projects, it's not like it's easy because of my past successful experiences right! And so I do stress up and get worried a lot about the results or about doing a challenging task. But my friend never seems to believe me and mocks me as if I'm faking all my concern for the task I'm doing. She says things like: "Ahh, Shut up! We all know how you can ace this one just like every other thing. You're just being dramatic. If there's anyone in trouble then it's people like us and not you who always makes it 💯 at the end of the day. We all know you have everything covered and you're only being dramatic"
    But I'm not. And I don't know what to say because it's true that I did the best job last time and many other times. But it doesn't mean that I always have the same confidence about results.

  11. Thank the light for all yr wonderful & practical tips & inspiration to deal with difficult conversations.. my appreciation !

  12. Ill tell my stupervisor, that stupidity is uncalled for and unproductive.

  13. I feel like the video cut off halfway. You introduced and described what the advice was going to be but didn't detail it with any examples. When my bosses bully me I tend to quit the job. Bad for my resume to be sure. I need your lessons more than the average person with a shitty boss.

  14. Did I miss the answer? Don’t do the “I don’t appreciate that”, Do in private show that you have some ammunition, and do respond to public humiliations – but how?

  15. The msg in the video is peaceful and the video is short and on the point, excellent! The choice of white as new color for the room is also great , it makes the vibrant colors of the furniture and the artwork pop out! I saw in older videos that the color of the walls was to intense.

  16. I LOVE your videos and way of thinking. The problem with responding this way is that your superior has the power to spite you though… If there are no repercussions for their behavior then your caught between a rock and a hard place.

  17. Tony Stark has a new job since Avengers End Game. 😀 Seriously, good video. Thanks Dan!

  18. Your videos and advice are timeless and so helpful. Thank you for your impactful videos!

  19. Does this tactic work on business owners? I work part time at a restaurant for extra money, and the owner of the restaurant is very inappropriate. Uses words like fag, or grabs his junk and tells his cooks to suck on it when they speak up about a issue.

    Lol I get calling out the behavior, but what is the consequence? He’ll just simply fire me.

    Advice?

  20. Whenever someine says "i dont appreciate ….." it seems a childish way of communication

  21. I feel that I’m school and your my professor 🤓 thank you for sharing this vedio sir❤️🇵🇭🇰🇼

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