The Office/Eye of the Tiger Quadratics Parody


(Michael): Here at Dunder Math-lin paper company, we value education. It determines your career in life. I am an amazing mathematician. Back in highschool, I was the top of my class. And here I am, selling paper for a living. It’s incredible. (singing Starving for Quads) Negative, negative.. b plus or minus.. That quadratic song has been stuck in my head all day. Quadratics? Qu..quadratic formula? Phyllis? (Phyllis): E=mc squared? (Michael): DANG IT PHYLLIS THAT’S PEMDAS! N-nobody knows? Conference room, ten minutes. Most people’s first word is either mama, dadda, babba.. but my first word? Quadratics. Soon to be followed by the entire formula, and then before I knew it I was t..take the number off.. the number line with the exponents and you reflect that off of the Z axis, and that’s the transverse wave with the Southeast and the- Now everybody see this is the discriminant (Dwight): That is not how you write a two Michael! (Michael): Dwight please sit down.. (Dwight): NO, NO! (Michael): Dwight, Dwight, okay stop or else you won’t be Assistant to the Regional Manager anymore. (Dwight): Fine. (Michael): Thank you, Dwight. (Dwight): Back when I was a kid, I had to do my work in beet juice. And to erase stuff, we had to lick the rocks that we wrote on. Yeah! We didn’t even have ink! (Michael): Okay guys, anyway, anyway let’s move on ..the twos are not the point, you are going to NEED this! (Jim): Why don’t we just learn a song? (Michael): OHHH, make a song! Okay, what so am I just gonna spend an entire week making some music video about quadratics? It was then that I decided that that was exactly what I had to do. (Survivor – Eye of the Tiger) Didn’t know how to solve quadratics Graphing always took too long I was confused on how to complete the square but then, I found a formula A man named Diophantus came up with a solution It’s called the quadratic formula and I’m here to teach it to you Negative b plus or minus root b squared minus 4 ac all over 2a Solve for x and you will get your x intercepts Plug in the numbers and you will get a parabola The discriminant is b squared minus 4ac It reveals to us the number of solutions If it is positive that means two real solutions If it’s zero then one and negative means none Negative b plus or minus root b squared minus 4 ac all over 2a Solve for x and you will get your x intercepts Plug in the numbers and you will get a parabola Suddenly, it’s so easy No more need to cry Getting rich from my IQ Math is better than I thought

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